No Excuses
by shadowjack12345
Summary: A former one-shot promoted to multi-chapter status and, as such, no longer classed as 'complete'. Let's do this thing! Beast Boy's secret is revealed in spectacular fashion and sparks a change in the lives of two Titans.
1. One, Two, Three!

**No Excuses**

**A little, separate one-shot. I got the idea stuck in my head and need to get it out of there!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or anything and make no profit or nuthin'!**

Beast Boy sat on the couch. Well... sat might not be quite right. He was splayed out on the couch, dead to the world while the rest of the team stared at him with concerned eyes. They had just returned from a fight with Mad Mod and Beast Boy had, once again, proven all too vulnerable to his hypnotic machine. Unfortunately, the Titans had so far been unable to rouse the changeling after having tried jokes, rude words, pranks (Cyborg somehow caught Raven out again with a wet willy, having to spend several minutes afterward reassembling his right arm) and even whispering 'tofu' into his ear. Then came the discovery, quite accidentally, that Beast Boy would obey commands like he would a stage hypnotist. Cyborg was especially enjoying himself, acting the part.

"Beast Boy! When I count to three, you shall be... a chicken. One, two, three..." Poof! Beast Boy was a chicken. Literally. The cybernetic hugged his aching 'ribs' as he laughed, watching his friend strut and peck around the floor. The other teens laughed, if not as enthusiastically... even Raven sported a reluctant smile.

"Beast Boy!" Robin announced. "When I click my fingers, you will become the perfect pet dog." Click. The green chicken was replaced by a green collie, who immediately trotted out of the room and returned with Robin's slippers in his mouth. Then he disappeared again and returned with a newspaper that had been pushed into the Tower's mailbox. As Robin opened his paper to read, Beast Boy simply sat near him, relaxed but alert. Cyborg was at this point rolling around on the floor and crying tears of laughter. Starfire spoke up next.

"Friend Beast Boy! When I have counted to three, you shall be the ideal kitten. One, two, three!" Sure enough, the collie dissolved into a familiar feline shape, the cat form he often referred to as 'the Face'. The kitten bounced into Starfire's arms and purred happily, nuzzling her chin as it stretched up. Starfire sat herself on the couch and petted the green animal delicately, humming in contentment. Robin, after a time, took issue with Beast Boy's closeness to Starfire's chest and caused him to transform into a snake. Then Cyborg turned him into an owl. Then Starfire, rushing her request, got a kitten again. Robin requested a bat, seemingly disturbed by its presence in his home. A veritable zoo occupied the common room, one green animal at a time. Then Cyborg had an even better idea: make him do stuff as himself!

"Beast Boy!" he said. "When I count to three, you shall become a hater of tofu and have a craving for jerky! One, two, three!" Beast Boy turned and walked to the kitchen, searching it for the dried meat. Raven surrounded the confused boy in a bubble and regarded Cyborg carefully...

"I think forcing him to betray his values is a little too far, Cyborg. Beast Boy... when _I_ count to three, you will be a vegetarian again... and make me a cup of tea. No milk, no sugar. One, two, three." She released the changeling and he went about his assigned task, presenting Raven with a steaming cup of tea. She sipped it... just right. Robin smirked at the show.

"Looks like we found a way to get Beast Boy to do his chores. Wait... Beast Boy! When I click my fingers, you will... Clean. Your. Room!" Robin commanded. The other Titans gasped in horror...

Click.

Beast Boy marched out of the common room without a moments hesitation. Cyborg seemed uneasy.

"Hey, c'mon Rob... I was just getting him to abandon his beliefs... what you're doing is _sick_!" the cybernetic teen said, a little concernced for his green friend. Robin laughed, lightly.

"Hey, it's his fault. This way we don't get any excuses. Plus, while he's gone, we can work on a way to wake him up." Robin and Cyborg busied themselves with scans of Beast Boy and Mad Mod's equipment, dismantling and examining the machinery while Starfire resolved to watch over Beast Boy. Raven floated by the window, sipping her tea... she was thinking of something to ask Beast Boy... something to get him back for all the times he intruded on _her_ personal space. After a time, Starfire returned with a dishevelled Beast Boy, still bearing a blank expression. Raven had it. She knew what she wanted to make him do. As the others watched, she addressed him again.

"Beast Boy. When I cound to three, you will do the one thing you have wanted to do most. One. Two. _Three._" Raven couldn't wait... she had visions in her head of him force-feeding Cyborg tofu or pantsing Robin or... where was he going? To Raven's confusion, he marched straight toward her. When he stopped in front of her, the entire team was silent... then he reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist and shoulders, pulling her into a passionate kiss. Raven's eyes were wide and her cheeks bright red. She was so astonished, she couldn't use her powers... or even _think_ of using her powers. The rest of the team were similarly disarmed, staring in shock with open mouths. Just as Raven finally realised that the warm wetness pressed to her lips was _Beast Boy _(!), the hypnotised shape-shifter pulled back, clutched his head and opened his eyes, which finally saw the world around him.

"Uh... guys? Why are you all staring? How are we at home?" he asked, oblivious. Cyborg recovered enough to speak, though he still stood unnaturally still.

"Mad Mod... you got hypnotised and... yeah." CYborg managed. Beast Boy grimaced, then appeared to be considering something.

"Aggghhh! He made me British again, didn't he?!" Beast Boy fumed.

"W-what makes you say that, Beast Boy?" Robin asked. The green youth looked at him, seemingly a little proud of his deduction.

"I can still taste the tea!" he said. "I musta took some of Raven's while I was being all English. Sorry, Rae..." Raven stood, looking blank, even for her. A few moments of silence passed while Raven thought about Beast Boy tasting her tea...

"...Huh..." she muttered. Then every lightbulb in the common room burst, followed shortly by all the furniture violently flipping upside down in a wave of black power. The surrounding Titans were miraculously untouched. "Excuse me..." Raven mumbled, floating out through the door. Beast Boy shrugged and faced his friends.

"Was it something I said?" Cyborg, now almost completely recovered, was valiantly holding in his laughter while Robin stammered and Starfire continued to stare, eventually opting to follow Raven's example and leave the room. Beast Boy took their reactions as a 'yes' and slapped his hand to his forehead. Cyborg finally managed a few words, still trembling from barely-contained mirth.

"S...s-_something he said!_" he blurted before clamping his hand over his mouth, though his laughter could still be heard, muffled by the appendage. Beast Boy groaned.

"Aw man... my mouth is always getting me into trouble with Raven!" he lamented. Cyborg collapsed to the floor, shortly joined by Robin, lapsing into hysterics. Beast Boy stared down at them, feeling like he was missing the joke...

"What?... _What?!_"

**Well, there you have it, the little plot-bunny I've had hopping around in my skull... Awwww... bunnies are nice ^_^**

**-Jack**


	2. The Aftermath

**No Excuses 2 - Aftermath**

**Well after a little badgering from people, I though it might be worth adding to this little story... maybe even keep going. See where it takes me I suppose.**

Starfire was hiding in her room. She knew that, eventually, Beast Boy would start asking questions and, frankly, she didn't trust herself not to spill every detail. That was just who she was, deceit was very unnatural for her. So she hid, hoping the others would sort everything out. She supposed it wasn't as cataclysmic as she feared... but her instincts told her this situation would snowball into something larger, good or bad. She jumped when there was a knock at the door. She floated toward it, better to hear who her visitor was.

"Who is it?" she asked through the door.

"It's Raven," came softly from the other side. Starfire quickly opened the door, dragged Raven inside and slammed it shut again. Normally, such behaviour would have Raven staring, perhaps firing off the odd acerbic comment... but now she paced around Starfire's room, arms crossed across her chest and staring blindly at the ground. After starting to feel a little dizzy watching her friend go round in circles, Starfire darted in front of her, gently grasping her shoulders and bringing her to a halt. Raven started as if she'd forgotten Starfire was even there.

"Will you not sit, Raven?" Starfire said, gesturing toward her bed. Raven sat but didn't unfold her arms. She was quiet for a long time. Finally she stared into Starfire's eyes again.

"Starfire... what should I do?" asked the sorceress, panic colouring her voice. Starfire winced inwardly. Hadn't she already resolved to stay out of it? No... no this was Raven and she needed help. She needed Starfire.

"Let us summarise the situation. We have learned by the accident that friend Beast Boy harbours romantic feelings for you and... and that's it. There are only two questions that you must answer." Raven was lost in thought. She had a million questions flying around her head, how had Starfire narrowed them all down to two?!

"W-which questions, Starfire?" Raven asked, nervously. Starfire took a deep breath.

"First, you must decide if we are to tell Beast Boy what happened and second... you must ascertain what your _own_ feelings are on the matter. Your feelings for Beast Boy." Raven was practically convulsing, she was so tense, her mouth working soundlessly.

"T-tell him? _TELL HIM?!_ No... Nooooo no no no no no no no. I won't be doing that. There are other options after all... we could travel back in time to stop it from happening! I could erase my memory - all of it, just to be sure. I wasn't using those childhood memories anyway. Or we could kill everyone in the whole world, then no one will find out!" Raven's 'plans' continued to tumble out of her mouth, making Starfire fear more and more for her friend's sanity... finally, Raven ceased and, finally un-crossing her arms, dropped her head into her hands. "I don't know what to do with this, Star... I... we have all learned one of Beast Boy's most closely guarded secrets. I'm guessing, from their reactions, he hadn't even told Robin or Cyborg. I just... I don't know what to do," Raven finished, her voice shrinking to a whine.

"Raven," Starfire started. "There is still the other question. You can only know how to deal with Beast Boy when you know how _you_ feel about it... are you angry? Are you sad? Are you happy? Are you flattered?" Raven seemed to think on her words. "Are you... _interested_?" Starfire added, Raven's head whipping up to face her.

"W-what? No! Of course not!" Raven shrieked.

"Then, if you are not romantically interested in Beast Boy, you must approach this as his friend. If we, your friends, kept a secret like this from you, how would you feel?" Starfire asked.

"Ugh..." Raven winced. "I would _not_ want to hear something like that about me... but I would want my friends to keep such a secret even less. I will tell Beast Boy what happened. But I need time to... prepare myself." Starfire nodded, walking with Raven as she exited her bedroom but staying on her side of the threshold. As Raven turned back to speak again, they both heard what sounded a lot like Beast Boy. _Screaming_.

**The following is roughly the same period of time from Beast Boy's point of view.**

Beast Boy wasn't generally suspicious. He was suspicious right now. After his friends had finished laughing at him for some mysterious reason - which they then _refused_ to explain - he had naturally asked them to describe the fight with Mad Mod. They had done so, including the part where they had brought him home, unable to rouse him. Then he had asked how they had finally woken him up... and they were very quiet. And still. The animals in him screamed at their suspect body language: they were hiding something. Eventually, they just told him he had snapped out of it on his own, but had spent a good half-hour speaking in a poor english accent and behaving like a bad stereotype. They thought they were in luck: Beast Boy's false assumption about 'acting British' had done half their work in coming up with a convincing lie. They knew Raven wouldn't want them talking about it so they did their best to weave the story into a convincing account. It might have worked... but Beast Boy knew there hiding something. And when Beast Boy is not supposed to know something, he will do everything in his power to know it! He went to get a soda, ostensibly to rinse out the taste of the tea but really, he wanted to provide Robin and Cyborg a chance to speak privately. In theory. If he stayed at the right distance and angled himself correctly, his unique ears would let him listen in on their whispered discussion. Sure enough, the two boys quickly engaged in hushed conversation.

"We're gonna have to distract him," Cyborg whispered. "If he keeps asking questions, one of us is gonna slip up!"

"Okay... we need to get some distance," Robin suggested. "We might as well destroy the security camera footage while we're at it - Raven will want no loose ends. We'll say we've got more of Mad Mod's gear to examine." Beast Boy frowned. What did Raven have to do with all this? They seemed to be... deferring to her. He gulped down his soda and, when his friends explained they had more work to do, he grinned and claimed he would make the most of his alone time with the TV... then, the moment they stepped through the door, he morphed into a tiny fly and darted through after them. As they had planned, they headed to the camera room rather than the evidence room. Beast Boy slipped in with them and perched on the wall, trying to get a good view. In the end, he found a space on a shelf and shifted into a small bird - far easier to see with these eyes. He watched the footage as his friends tried to wake him up, all to no avail. There was only video, no sound, so he couldn't tell what was being said. Then, much to his chagrin, he watched as friends took advantage of him. He had to admit, he would have played the same prank on Cyborg or Robin in their situation... but that didn't make it any easier to watch. The two boys, oblivious to their companion, couldn't resist watching the whole thing again, giggling as they did so. They held their breath as it grew closer. Beast Boy returned from his room. You couldn't tell from the video but Raven commanded him to act on his greatest desire... then he marched up to Raven and kissed her. Robin opened his mouth to laugh but cried out instead as a green boy appeared next to him, screaming his lungs out!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" he screamed. Robin and Cyborg both held their hands to their ears. His already loud voice rang painfully in the small room.

"Beast Boy, stay cal-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" he screamed again.

"BB! BB, stop yelli-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" he screamed _yet again_. Robin finally wrapped his hand around Beast Boy's mouth, silencing him, though he still attempted to scream. Shortly after, the door flew open and Raven and Starfire appeared, ready to fight. Then they saw Beast Boy being manhandled by Robin. Then... they saw what was on the screen. Beast Boy stopped screaming and stared at Raven like she was an oncoming car. Raven herself blushed to the roots of her hair. Starfire, wisely, decided she was not needed and floated back to her room. Robin and Cyborg continued to stand, dumbly. Raven's shy expression gave way to a glare.

"Get out. Now," she ordered. She was obeyed. She glanced around, distastefully at the small security office. "Let's go somewhere more... relaxed." Raven walked out the door, Beast Boy following and cringing like a kicked dog. Raven quickly disregarded Beast Boy's bedroom. It smelled. Plus she wanted the home advantage in this conversation... her room it was. She ushered him in and closed the door... he was shaking so badly he almost tripped. She sat him down on her bed but he quickly jumped back to his feet.

"R-Raven! Don't be mad at me! Cy tricked me, right? He pranked me, told me to k_uhhh_... to ki_iirr_... to k...ki...ki...ki...k-"

"Kiss me!" Raven finished, her impatience momentarily outweighing her embarrassment. Beast Boy's eyes almost shot out of his skull.

"Um... yeah. You know what I'm like with those hypno-things, I can't help-"

"It wasn't Cyborg," Raven uttered. Beast Boy was silenced immediately. "It was me... sort of."

"Um... sort of? I'm freaking out here, Rae... wha-" Raven silenced him with a look. But not a glare... it was a look he had never seen on her before. There was warmth there. Forgiveness (for which he was _extremely_ grateful), pity and... regret.

"I asked you," Raven started slowly. "*Ahem*... I asked you to do the one thing - _the one,singular thing! -_ you wanted to do most. And you chose to kiss me." Raven said nothing more, leaving her words to do their work. Beast Boy looked as if he'd been stabbed in the gut, grimacing and clutching his stomach. He was caught. He was exposed. In front of everyone. Now he knew why they had tried to keep it a secret, at least for now. To Raven's dismay, he began to cry. "Beast Boy... Garfield. Don't be upset, you... you don't have to be embarrassed. We can-"

"I'm not embarrassed, Rae. Well... not embarrassed to tears anyway." His voice was quiet and empty, like he had used himself up. His eyes found hers, the tears still spilling. "There's no point denying it, is there? Yeah, I wanted to kiss you. I _still _want to. More then I can remember wanting anything..." Raven coloured again at his intensity.

"Then why are you crying?" Raven asked as his eyes continued to bore into hers.

"Imagine you had got the thing you wanted most, Raven. Imagine you had watched it happen... and now imagine you couldn't remember it. Imagine it was like watching a stranger wearing your face, living your life and kissing the girl you..." he stopped himself there, his voice rising in volume. He sat on the floor, heavily, weeping again. "I kissed you, Rae... I wanted it forever and it happened. But I wasn't there. It finally happened and I wasn't there." Raven finally understood his pain. His secret wish had been granted and stolen from him all at once, in full view of his friends. She was overwhelmingly glad they had brought him home, away from the prying eyes of the Jump City citizens. She sat next to him, both of them with their backs against her bed... his distress was so great, Raven could feel it seeping into her own feelings, causing tears to sting her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Beast Boy... " she said, unsure of what to say next. He gulped and spoke in her place.

"That was, um... my first kiss, too..." Now he _was_ embarrassed, though Raven didn't fully understand why. Some male, teenage posturing thing, she supposed. "It was my first kiss, and I wasn't even me." The added cruelty encouraged more tears from Raven's eyes - she had inadvertently stolen the boy's first kiss. It didn't occur to her that it had been hers as well.

"Beast Boy... I know it hurts but I have to tell you... I don't feel that way about you. You're my friend... I love you but I'm not _in love_ with you." Beast Boy nodded, wiping his eyes. He had known all along, which was why the kiss was a secret fantasy. It would never happen. Then it did and, by some cruel fate, he had missed it.

"It's okay Rae, I knew that, I think. Maybe allowed myself to hope, sometimes but never really believed it..." His head sank down again, his heart crushed. Raven still didn't know what to do... then it hit her. It seemed absurd but the more she thought on it, the more it seemed the right action. Her decision made, Raven steeled her resolve and shuffled closer to Beast Boy.

"Garfield... I can't give that kiss back to you. But I can give you this," Raven said, mysteriously. When Beast Boy looked up from the floor to face her, he found his lips captured by Raven's in a chaste kiss. It didn't last long but for a moment, Beast Boy forgot to breathe and was fairly sure his heart had stopped beating. For a long moment all he could see was her face, blushing slightly and with those eyes watching him. Finally, like the Sun at dawn, his smile reappeared beneath his watery eyes. He didn't think she would ever know what this gesture meant to him. The lost first kiss would always haunt him, he suspected... but Raven had given him a new one to replace it. And it had been _bliss!_ He moved towards her and Raven was momentarily afraid he had the wrong idea... then his head fell on her shoulder and he pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Thank you... Thank you, Raven," he sobbed. She returned the embrace gently, patting him on the back and stroking his hair... Hm. It was smoother than she had expected. They parted and helped each other to their feet. Raven magnanimously allowed him to wash his face in her bathroom before he left. When he exited, he cast another grateful smile her way but said nothing. Then he was gone. Raven sat back down and let out a long breath. The clock read ten o'clock... late enough to turn in. She noted, with a little flutter in her nervous stomach, that she could now taste some sort of soft drink on her lips - turnabout is fair play after all - before she brushed her teeth and washed her face. She dressed for bed and curled up under the sheets, her fingers subconsciously moving to her lips. When she did fall into deep sleep, Raven hugged a pillow to her chest. This wasn't particularly unusual. What was unusual was the way her sleeping self held it, the way her hands clumsily moved across it. If it had been humanoid or a stuffed toy, the movements would have made much more sense.

She would have been patting its back and gently stroking its hair.

**WOOOOOOOOOOOOW! I took this funny little story and got really, really intense! Like, properly **_**intense!**_** Crazy. Let me know what you think in reviews cos I really like them. I would like to express my gratitude to my supporters as 'Harmless Question' is my first story to break fifty reviews. You guys rock! **

**Read. Enjoy. Review.**

**-Jack**


	3. Nice and Simple

**No Excuses 3 - Nice and Simple**

**Right, we'll see if we can't calm things down a little. Shouldn't be too hard, considering the content of the previous chapter.**

Raven awoke early, as usual. Glancing at her clock she saw it was very nearly 6am. What was unusual was her unwillingness to rise. After the disaster that was yesterday, she almost screamed 'ten more minutes!' to the universe. Then she sighed, got up, got dressed and moved to the common room. Yesterday had been _most_ unusual and not only because of the unforeseen and not-quite-spoken declaration of love from her green colleague, Beast Boy. She bore ultimate responsibility, of course: if she hadn't given in to her petulant need to get back at Beast Boy for his minor misdeeds, it would have all remained under wraps. Which is where she preferred things, frankly. More pressing, to her mind, was her uncharacteristic panic later on, pacing around Starfire's bedroom. She had never dealt with this precise set of circumstances before so, she supposed, she couldn't have known how she might react... but still. Perhaps her guilt had allowed Timid too much influence over her... or perhaps, since reluctantly admitting her fear during the Wicked Scary debacle, she had allowed Timid too much freedom. Either way, Timid was likely at the root of the problem. She resolved to meet and speak with her emotion as soon as she had had her morning tea. As she stepped into the common room, she was unsurprised to see Robin already there, newspaper and coffee on the table before him. He acknowledged her with a polite nod.

"Raven," he greeted simply. She returned his nod as she walked past him to the kitchen.

"Robin." She set the kettle to boil, pulling her cup, loose tea, tea strainer and spoon from the cupboards and drawers. The scooped a spoonful of the leaves into the strainer and clipped it shut, lowering it into the empty cup. When the kettle boiled, she poured the water over the strainer, watching the leaves swirl inside as the water turned a rich, dark brown. After she was satisfied, she removed the strainer and emptied the leaves into the garbage, levitating her strainer to the sink. She held the cup up to her nose and inhaled, the scent of the beverage seeping into her and loosening what tension she had. She blew on the liquid and took a careful sip. She swallowed and sighed in satisfaction, her tiny smile appearing for a moment. This was a simple pleasure. She liked simplicity. Holding her cup in both hands, she sat at the table with Robin. Looking up from his paper, Robin finally asked what she had known he would.

"So... how did he take it?" Robin asked. Hm... she had expected that question but only _after_ he had asked about her and Beast Boy's conversation. Detectives were annoying... but impressive. But she wouldn't let him know that, so decided to play dumb for now.

"Take what?" Raven asked. Robin smirked at her neutral expression. Even he couldn't read her sometimes.

"How did Beast Boy take your rejection?" he confirmed. Raven raised an eyebrow at him.

"How did you know that? Eavesdropping?" she said. She knew he hadn't but felt like taunting him a little more.

"No!" Robin said, a little flustered. He did _not_ want Raven to think he intruded on her privacy. "But if you hadn't, I'm pretty sure I would have heard Beast Boy singing and skipping down the corridor." he finished, with a smile. At the mental image, Raven smirked... then the memory of his tearful face wiped it away... Robin still waited.

"Better than you might think. Better than I would have thought. He said he already knew it was hopeless... but I think having it actually said to him still hurt him." Robin nodded seriously at Raven's words.

"May I ask what was said?" Robin asked. He was genuinely concerned about his friends and the team dynamic but didn't seem to really understand how invasive the question was. Raven finished her tea and levitated her cup to the sink with her other dishes.

"You can ask," Raven said, standing as she did. "But I won't tell you. Excuse me..." With that, she turned and walked to her room. Once inside, she sealed the door and retrieved her meditation mirror: her most prized possession. She focused on the reflective surface and felt herself fall into her mindscape. Soon enough, she stood in the impossible realm she named Nevermore and made her way to Timid's maze. When she found the grey emotion, she was surprised to see she was not alone but being consoled by two others, Happy and Affection. Timid was sniffling, her eyes red from crying. When she saw Raven approaching, she burst into tears all over again, eliciting frustrated sighs from the others. She allowed Happy and Affection to try and calm Timid down again, at least until the point where the emotion could speak intelligibly.

"R-Raven! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you so scared! I'm sorry I made you act like that in front of Starfire. I'm sorry I made you think of killing everyone in the world. I'm sorry tha-" Raven interrupted her before she could continue her litany of apologies.

"It's in the past, Timid. I only came to find out what happened." Timid wiped her eyes and looked at Raven in relief... well, less fear, anyway.

"Well... I was here talking with Happy and Affection and-"

"You were both here as well? Why?" Raven asked.

"What do you think?" Happy giggled. "You just watched us doing it again." Raven nodded. Of course, her more positive emotions attempted to soothe her more negative ones. She wondered what that meant about her...

"Right. Carry on, Timid," Raven said.

"Um... okay. Well, we were talking. Or, well... they were talking and I was crying. Or apologising. Anyway, I was apologising for crying so much when they both just started... screaming!" Raven looked concerned now.

"Screaming?" she asked. Timid nodded.

"Yeah... but not like they were scared. More like... surprised. And their eyes were glowing." Raven now looked at the other two emotions. Happy just giggled but Affection had the decency to appear a little embarrassed.

"Explain," Raven commanded simply. She liked simplicity. Happy was now giggling uncontrollably, holding her stomach, so Affection spoke.

"Well... Beast Boy kissed you, Raven!" Raven blushed a little but maintained her slight scowl.

"I know that. Why should that matter so much to you, though? We..._I_ don't like him that way." Raven countered.

"Well yes, that's true..." Affection replied. "But... how can I explain this? We know we are considered attractive to some, yes? Some of the creepier fan mail we get can get very... detailed." Raven grimaced. Yes. _Detailed_. "But we know they would run screaming if they learned what we are. Then there's that goth boy... he isn't really interested in us. He isn't really interested in anything. His apathy is just that. We, your emotions, are merely suppressed and controlled. And I don't like him." Affection frowned and stuck her tongue out. Raven sighed.

"I still don't see-" Raven began, but was interrupted by Affection.

"I'm getting to it, Raven! Anyway... now we have Garfield. And he knows all about us. He knows what we are. He knows what we're like as a person which is not especially friendly. He knows about our past. He saw our father. He's taken the brunt of our temper more than once. He-" Now Raven interrupted Affection.

"Alright! I get it, Beast Boy knows we're a bitchy pain in the ass. And?" Raven asked. Affection shook her head at Raven, like she was missing something incredibly obvious.

"And? And he _loves_ us, Raven. He loves _you_. He knows us as well as anyone ever has... and he loves us anyway. Even if we don't reciprocate, isn't it just..._nice_?" Raven stared at her emotion, her expression less confrontational than before. She hadn't really thought about how she should feel about it beyond her gentle rejection. It _did_ feel nice. As she pondered, Happy finally calmed down enough to speak, though she blushed heavily and held her hands to her cheeks.

"And we got our first kiss! I thought it would never happen!" she squealed, causing Affection to smile and blush along with her.

"I don't think it really counts," Raven said. "He wasn't in control and I was barely cognitive." Happy nodded glumly at the analysis.

"You're right, Rae-Rae, the kiss in the common room probably doesn't count... so it's a good thing you planted a big smooch on him in your room!" Happy said, bursting in to fresh laughter. Raven fumed.

"Big smooch? It was just a little peck!" Raven hissed. Affection looked at her, seeming unusually upset.

"Raven... you know what it meant to Garfield. You felt it. That kiss, however brief, wasn't 'just' anything! I am part of you, so I know you never expected to get a first kiss. So just for a second, be glad you did. With someone you know and trust who will never take it for granted. Just for a second, Raven... be human." Raven glared at her emotion... she was right. She replayed the moment in her mind, the astonishment she felt from Beast Boy, followed by blinding happiness tinged with a little sadness. She allowed herself to remember the sensation of his lips against hers. As first kisses went, she supposed it was pretty good and, she realised, she was grateful for it, despite the strange circumstances. Affection grinned as Ravens mouth curled into a small smile...

"Aaaaaaaaaaand..." Happy piped up. "It probably doesn't hurt that he's such a little cutie!" Raven smirked at her.

"Happy... if I don't like him that way, then you don't either," she said, matter-of-factly.

"Well sure... but I just love his eyes! They're so...so... _green_! Y'know?" Raven shook her head at Happy, a little glad there was a part of her that liked such simple details about her friends. She liked simplicity. She bid her emotions farewell and pictured herself in her room. The image informed reality and she found herself sat on her bed, clutching her mirror. She put it away and decided to return to the common room. Within Nevermore, Happy looked confused for a second.

"Hey, Affection?" she asked. The other emotion turned to face her. "Why do you always call Beast Boy 'Garfield'?" Affection shrugged, smiling mysteriously before vanishing back to her own realm. "Wha- Hey! Don't leave me here on my own with Moaning Myrtle!" The grey emotion started to cry again. "Ah! Sorry, Timid. I'm sorry..."

Raven idly wondered if Beast Boy was awake yet... and how he might react to her. She might not express it particularly well but she... valued him, hoping fervently that their friendship would survive. She entered and saw all of her comrades in the room, Starfire and Robin in the kitchen, Beast Boy and Cyborg sat in front of the TV, playing one of those infernal video games. She moved to her usual spot and picked up one of several books she had left in the common room. Beast Boy finally noticed she was there... the text of the book blurred slightly as an intense wave of emotion crashed over her. She did her best to compose herself and glanced up at the source: Beast Boy. He was looking at her with a small smile on his face, waving in greeting. She hadn't felt anything like this last night - she supposed Timid's over-excitement might have overwhelmed and temporarily dampened her empathic senses. She nodded back with a tiny smile and he returned to his game. It almost felt like she was swimming through his aura, it was so all-encompassing. He felt _that_? For _her_?! How did he ever keep that quiet for so long? She knew she would have to talk to him about it at some point, find out how he had hidden it. He might have to do it again for her sake. She let it go for now, though... it didn't seem appropriate after his embarrassment to ask him, in front of their friends, if he could please stop loving her quite so much. No, this was a private matter. Besides, Affection had been right: sitting with her book with Beast Boy's feelings wrapped around her like a warm blanket... it felt nice.

**Well, there's the next bit. I've been meaning for a while now to try and write Raven's character more in line with the show and this is my attempt. Coincidentally, I had a reviewer make the same suggestion as I was starting to write this! Crazy... Anyhoo, enjoy and review!**

**-Jack**


	4. Logic

**No Excuses 4 - Logic**

**Okay, shall we see what mindless fluff I spit out now? Yes? Okay then!** **We'll pick up only a little while after the last chapter ended.**

Raven closed her book and sighed. She had never felt so comfortable... and that made her feel a little guilty as that comfort came from the almost tangible aura emanating from Beast Boy. As it surrounded her, she could feel his warmth, his love for his friends and, more specifically, the passionate love he held for Raven herself. She had already rejected him (as gently as possible), told him she couldn't return his feelings. Logically, she should have a clear conscience... but love and logic rarely mix. Externally, none of these emotions affected her expression as she gazed at the city through the window. She glanced toward the kitchen, seeing Starfire was now alone. Raven stood and made her way to the alien. She was gently singing in her native language as she prepared food for her pet, Silkie.

"Stafire?" Raven said, trying to get her attention. Starfire turned and beamed at her friend, still working on the meal.

"Friend Raven! You would like to speak to me?" she asked. Raven nodded and leaned against the countertop, making sure the boys weren't listening in.

"I... need to apologise. For my behaviour in your room yesterday. It's not like me to panic like that and I'm sorry you had to deal with it," Raven said. Starfire shook her head.

"Raven, you need not apologise for merely requiring assistance. I confess that, at first I did not want to involve myself... but that was because I doubted I could contain Beast Boy's secret within myself." Raven felt Happy giggle in appreciation of Starfire's speech - she liked the way the alien princess spoke, even if it was occasionally difficult to decipher.

"Well... thank you, Starfire," Raven said, simply, her tiny smile gracing her features. Starfire returned it with a dazzling smile.

"You are welcome, Raven. You are correct when you say it was unlike you, however... may I ask what caused it?" Starfire asked, innocently, a hint of concern in her brilliant, green eyes. Raven debated with herself... did she want to discuss this? Did she want to keep it secret? She looked at Starfire again and sighed... even she struggled to lie to _that_ face.

"You know of my emotions, yes?" Starfire nodded. "Good. Timid was... startled. And she inadvertently fed that panic to me," Raven explained.

"What startled her that badly?" Starfire asked, causing Raven to hesitate again before continuing.

"Well... don't take this the wrong way, Star!... when Beast Boy kissed me last night, Happy and Affection... got excited. And they were with Timid." Starfire's eyes were a little wider but she remained calm.

"Um...'excited'?... Raven?" she asked.

"Not like that, Starfire... Happy was pleased we got a first kiss against all expectations and Affection, she is... she is a _hopeless_ romantic." Starfire giggled. "And she appreciates that Beast Boy cares for us in that way," Raven said, still maintaining her neutral expression. Starfire nodded, though her expression betrayed her slight confusion.

"I do not understand, Raven: you did not expect to receive a first kiss? Ever?" Raven nodded. "But why?" she asked, concern evident now. Raven sighed again.

"Let's be honest, Starfire... I'm not really girlfriend material. I don't imagine anyone would want to kiss a demon. I'm just being realistic." Starfire smiled awkwardly at Raven.

"But... has Beast Boy not just expressed such interest in you? Perhaps your assumption was wrong," Starfire suggested. Raven pondered for a moment.

"Hmmm... I suspect Beast Boy might be the exception. He is, after all, in a class of his own," Raven muttered. Starfire giggled at the sarcasm. It was familiar, showing Raven and Beast Boy's friendship remained intact.

"You are saying he is unique?" Starfire asked, teasingly. Raven huffed, artfully.

"Pfff. Uniquely stupid. His... infatuation with someone like me defies all logic and reason," Raven said. Starfire frowned - her friend was not ready to let go of her idea that she was 'un-loveable', despite the very green evidence to the contrary.

"Logic and love rarely mix, Raven... for anyone," Starfire said before floating off to find Silkie. Raven did a double-take at Starfire's vocalisation of her thoughts from earlier. Her daily routine returned to normal after that: she read, she meditated, she read some more, she ate with her friends, she fought a supervillain with her friends, she ate with her friends again, she meditated for a little while before preparing for bed and went to sleep. There had been one new wrinkle to her life, though... somehow, Raven had been unable to let go of Beast Boy's aura. This wasn't necessarily bad or intrusive but now he was like a shining beacon to her empathic senses. She knew that, right now, she could find him anywhere in the city. Possibly in the world. Even when she was far from him (she had returned home first from the battle while the others purchased the night's pizza) she had felt him, like something you see from the corner of your eye. It actually aided her a little during the fight: when a cloud of dust got in her eyes and she was unable to see for a shirt while, she had found her way to Beast Boy's side and he found her a safe spot to try and blink the grit from her eyes. She wasn't especially worried... but she hadn't experienced this effect before. The closest thing was her mental connection to Robin but even that was disparate and depended on proximity. Perhaps she had sat and soaked it in for too long this morning... it would likely fade over time if she maintained proper control. She convinced herself it would sort itself out and slept peacefully. Their lives carried on as usual, crime, pizza and movies, though Raven was still connected somehow to Beast Boy's aura, which had yet to dim. Still, she assured herself that life carried on as normal - this would have no effect on her. This was tested a week later. The Titans once again faced the underwater menace, Trident and, once again, enlisted Aqualad to help. The fight had been difficult but predictable. The aftermath was unexpected, however...

"Raven!" Aqualad said, cheerily. He and the Titans stood on the rocky shore of their island, preparing to say farewell to their aquatic ally before he returned to the Titans East. As they turned to go back in the tower, Aqualad had called out to Raven. She turned to face him as he walked closer.

"Yes, Aqualad?" she asked, politely. She felt her face flush a little when he tossed a charming smile her way.

"I was wondering if you might want to have dinner some time...?" Raven paused, her widened eyes the only visible reaction. She thought about it... really thought about it. Starfire seemed to believe Raven stood a chance at romance... why not try her luck with the dashing Atlantean prince? She knew of his reputation: he wasn't looking for love, only another notch on his bedpost. There was no malice in his actions, though, he never promised anything and every girl he wined and dined knew what they were getting into. Raven seriously debated if she would mind being one of those notches. There would be no emotional entanglement. He would certainly treat her with respect, according to the rumours. He would likely be... skilled (Raven flushed a little more beneath her hood). And she would have another 'first' that she had never expected. It seemed perfect, from a logical point of view. So, mind made up, Raven raised her head to meet his eyes, smiled politely and spoke...

"No, thank you, Aqualad," she said.

"Great! How about tonight? I can pick you up aroun-" Aqualad stopped, mid-sentence, mouth still working. "Wait...what?" Raven smirked at his confusion. Even if there was no malice in him, she still rather enjoyed deflating his opinion of himself.

"I said no, Aqualad. I hope we can still be civil..." Raven said. Aqualad snapped out of his confusion.

"Um...yeah! Sure! No problem, Raven..." he said, laughing awkwardly. Raven turned and walked back to the tower. Robin and Cyborg moved in on Aqualad but he spoke first. "That's... actually never happened before," he said, laughing more naturally now.

"What?" asked Robin. They had been too far away for their conversation to be heard by the others.

"She shot me down. I asked her out to dinner and... she shot me down. FIrst time for everything, right?" Aqualad finished. Cyborg and Robin seemed less entertained.

"You were puttin' the moved on _our Raven_?!" Cyborg asked, accusation in his voice. Robin stood by him, glaring at Aqualad, who raised his hands in surrender."

"Whoa! Come on, guys... it was just dinner. You know I wouldn't have done anything if Raven said she didn't want to." Cyborg and Robin nodded grudgingly. But still... this was _their Raven_.

"Well... okay," Cyborg conceded. "All the same, you'd better head home before I "accidentally" reprogram the water pipes at the East Tower to fill your water tank with sewage..." Aqualad raised his hands again, already backing away. As he turned to step into the sea, he felt something splat on the top of his head. He looked up and saw a green seagull flying back to the tower. He sighed and dove into the water. Raven had witnessed the whole thing, having teleported up to the common room so she could watch Robin and Cyborg grill the unfortunate Aqualad. Logically, it would have made sense to accept his invitation... except for one thing: Beast Boy. They had been far enough from the others to ensure privacy... but not from Beast Boy's sensitive ears. He had heard everything and Raven had felt every emotion. Clearly, he also knew Aqualad's reputation as, as soon as he had called her name, his aura coloured with suspicion. Then, after asking her to dinner, it filled with righteous indignation, followed by burning jealousy and then... panic and crippling sorrow. That had been what made up her mind. Even if she wasn't with Beast Boy, he was still her friend - a close friend! - and a colleague. No arrangement with Aqualad, no matter how _educational_ it might be, was worth hurting and alienating one of her best friends. It was too soon after his forced confession... the feelings were too raw. As she pondered, the green youth himself stepped into the common room, followed by Cyborg and Robin.

"Beast Boy..." Raven said, attracting the boy's attention. Even though she spoke flatly, there was some inflection that told him he might be in trouble.

"Um... yeah, Rae?" he asked, meekly.

"Rae-ven," she corrected. He nodded. Raven stared at him, making him squirm. She thought about his envy, his protective fury... and how it would do him no good. She wanted to tell him to forget her, to find someone as kind and passionate as himself. She wanted to tell him she wasn't worth his adulation. She said nothing.

"Rae?..._Ven_!" Beast Boy said, hastily correcting himself. Raven glanced out the window again, smirking. FInally, she spoke.

"Beast Boy... good shot," she said, still smirking. He blushed then, an embarrassed grin on his face. He would probably have to apologise at some point for crapping on Aqualad's head but, right now, with the way Raven was looking at him, he just couldn't bring himself to regret it. Not much later, the team turned in for the night, exhausted by the day.

Raven's dreams were reflective of her worries... Beast Boy was upset with her for not being good enough for him. He accused her of wasting his love and his time before disappearing forever. Then, from the shadows, Malchior came, repeating her own fears, telling her she was alone, forgotten and unloved. The human shape transformed into a dragon and hunted her through her dream, finally catching up and sinking his teeth in. She awoke with a cry, eyes wide and fearful... then the dream wore off and she regained her control. For a time, she resisted sleep - who would want to risk returning to _that_ dream. Then she felt the spark, the beacon that surrounded Beast Boy... it was outside her door. He had heard her cry and come to check on her, she realised as his aura projected his concern. As her breathing steadied, she felt his concern fade and be replaced with the feelings of love she was still getting used to. She drifted back to sleep with him still there, though he returned to his own bed soon after. This time, Raven dreamed that she was in a vast library, accompanied by all of her emotions, each of them reading something. An impossible long and fluffy scarf was around all of their necks, connecting them together. Happy hugged the scarf to her as she read picture books. Timid hid her face behind the vast garment when her book frightened her. Knowledge reclined on a piled-up section of the scarf. Rude dozed on another pile, her book covering her face. Rage punched her part of the scarf every time her book frustrated her... which was every few seconds. Affection used the scarf to muffle her laughter while she read terrible romance stories. And Raven herself sat on the biggest pile, the impossible scarf wrapped around her as well. Her dream-self examined the scarf as she took a break from reading. It was warm, comfortable, plentiful and rapidly becoming her favourite. There was only one other distinguishing feature of the infinite scarf:

It was bright green.

**Yup. Fluffier than the infinite scarf. I kind of want an infinite scarf now... Anyway! There's your next bit. It's nice to see that, even just as friends, Raven still took Beast Boy's feeling into account. How sweet! Let me know what you guys thought :D**

**-Jack**


	5. Support

**No Excuses 5 - Support**

**So Beast Boy is clearly on Raven's mind, in one way or another. Is this because of her changing attitude toward him or simply because he's unwittingly beaming his feelings at her 24 hours a day! Who knows? Certainly not me, which might pose a problem considering I'm the 'author'. **

Raven awoke feeling unusually well rested. She recalled her dream and blushed a little - the symbolism was difficult to ignore. She suspected her unconscious mind was visualising his aura as more mundane objects, hence the big green scarf blanketing her emotions. A very literal image of what she felt through her empathic senses. She realised that the aura, the beacon was still there, even as he slept. That ruled out asking him to control it again, it was clearly not a conscious decision. This probably meant she would be dreaming about Beast Boy in one way or another for quite some time. She had mixed feelings on that - she often had... less than enjoyable dreams. Was it so wrong to be pleased if Beast Boy chased them away for a while? Shaking her head, Raven cleared her mind: she wasn't internally debating anything until she got her tea... and maybe some toast. After dressing, she walked to the common room, casually greeting Robin as he sat with his coffee, flicking the TV on to the morning news. She quickly and expertly brewed her tea, hand reaching out to grab some bread... but it stopped short. Her eyes had rested on a brightly coloured box. It was the cereal Beast Boy regularly enjoyed - _vocally_ - for his breakfast. Her curiosity overwhelmed her and Raven soon found herself holding a bowl of colourful cereal, with real milk, not soy, and floating it, her tea and herself over to the breakfast table with Robin. He looked away from the TV and raised an eyebrow at her choice.

"Trying something new, Raven?" he asked. Raven finished her mouthful before answering.

"My curiosity got the better of me..." she answered, shoveling another spoonful into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. When she swallowed, she rested her head on her other hand, poking at the cereal with her spoon. Her expression was close to neutral but Robin detected a little disappointment.

"You don't like it?" he asked. Raven sighed.

"It's delicious," Raven said, sounding almost depressed. "I don't know if I'd eat it every day but... it's delicious," she repeated. Robin was thoroughly confused now.

"So... why is that a bad thing?" he said. Raven finally looked straight at him.

"It's silly... I was kind of hoping I wouldn't like it," Raven muttered.

"Okay I am totally lost here, Raven..." Robin admitted. Raven sighed _again_.

"It's silly," she said again. Robin gave her time to order her words. "Beast Boy and I... our relationship has always been... volatile. Yes, we're friends but we get on each other's nerves. We can't stand each other sometimes... at least that's what I _used_ to think. That aside, Beast Boy would usually find some way to... get under my skin at least once a day. The last few days, though... I get why he might be keeping his distance but it's still _different_. So maybe I was hoping I wouldn't like his cereal. That I would have _something_ about Beast Boy I could complain about. Azar... it sounds even more idiotic when I say it out loud!" Raven finished, still prodding her breakfast. Robin chuckled a little.

"Yeah, it kinda does. He probably thought the same way for a long time, though. I can't imagine he would have been so ga-ga over Terra if he had already fallen for you. Things must have changed for him some time after that," Robin surmised.

"Things change..." Raven whispered, recalling her conversations with Beast Boy about Terra. She started to wonder if that had been the turning point, when he started to move on from Terra and, apparently, set his sights on Raven instead. She shook her head again, starting to at her cereal again: this line of thought was pointless. How it started was not her problem, she only had to deal with the result. Robin interrupted her musings.

"Did you know you're the first girl to ever reject Aqualad? He seemed a little shaken," Robin said, laughter in his voice. Raven smirked. To think, she had briefly considered letting Aqualad be her 'first'... now she was his, in a manner of speaking.

"First ever, huh? Hmmm..." Raven smiled as she chewed, feeling oddly proud.

"If you don't mind me asking," Robin said. "Why'd you turn him down? Not that I'm not pleased you did but... I know you like him a little." Raven was quiet for a moment.

"I think he's attractive... I'm not sure I would go so far as saying I 'like' him. But he's respectful and there wouldn't have been any emotional backlash. I know his reputation as well as you do... I knew what he was offering." Robin was visibly uncomfortable now, glad Raven had stopped short of saying what Aqualad 'offered'.

"You...*ahem*... you make it sound like you should have gone out with him, Raven. If all you were interested in was... _that_." Raven smile a small, wan smile.

"It isn't, really... but respect is more than I can probably expect in a partner." Robin's confused frown compelled Raven to continue. "Let's just say I get a few _intimate_ fan letters... and respect is not what men think when they see me, it seems." Robin was angry, but filed this conversation away for the time being.

"Then why say no, Raven?" he asked, though he thought he had guessed.

"Beast Boy," Raven said simply. "Considering how he feels about me, idiotic though it may be, arranging a date with another man right in front of him, days after he was forced to confess? That would be far too... cruel. Like I said, we're friends. I wouldn't trade any of my friends for anything, let alone a casual dalliance with Aqualad." Robin smiled. Raven didn't use the word 'friend' lightly. His smile slowly disappeared as Raven finished her cereal, moving on to her tea.

"Raven... I think we should talk about these letters." Raven looked at Robin with slight surprise, not only at the subject of the conversation but at the change in his aura. It had become dark, dangerous... and cold. Then, as she refocused on her empathy, she realised something else: the beacon that surrounded Beast Boy... it was just outside the common room doors. It had a streak of the same darkness that Robin now showed, though in Beast Boy it wasn't cold but boiling hot. Raven groaned.

"Oh no... Beast Boy!" Raven called, getting up and walking to the door. They opened to reveal the fuming green teenager.

"Those men... those letters... what did they say, Rae?" he hissed. Raven let the pet name slide for once.

"... I'm not really comfortable saying it out loud," Raven answered. That was enough for Beast Boy. Anything bad enough to make Raven this uncomfortable would have to be _bad_.

"Let me see them, Rae. I'll get their scents and I'll find them..." he said, darkly. Raven was touched by his concern if not his slightly caveman approach to chivalry.

"You'll find them? You'll search the entire country for four men?" Raven challenged, a little heat creeping into her voice.

"If I have to!" Beast Boy replied, undaunted. "No one gets to say things like that to my Raven!" Raven's anger lessened a little at his dedication, but she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Your Raven?" she said, pointedly. Beast Boy's frown became less severe, and his cheeks flushed.

"My _friend_, Raven," he corrected. Raven smirked, then sighed. She fixed him with a stare, and his anger flowed away as he lost himself in her eyes.

"Beast Boy. I appreciate the sentiment, I really do... but you can't go hunting down every person who says bad things about me. Heroes don't act that way. You are a hero, aren't you?" Raven asked. Beast Boy pouted at her... that was a low blow.

"I guess so," he mumbled.

"That's what I thought. Now are you joining us for breakfast or not?" Raven turned and walked back to the table without waiting for his answer.

"Fine..." said Beast Boy and still sulking, he walked past them toward the kitchen, but paused when his nose caught something: the smell of his cereal. He glanced at the bowl which currently sat between Raven and Robin. Robin was still looking at him and subtly shook his head and pointed at Raven, indicating it had been her bowl. Raven herself sat, eyes closed, sipping her tea. When she opened them, the formerly sullen Beast Boy was beaming at her and she could swear his eyes actually sparkled.

"What?" she asked sharply. Beast Boy only chuckled.

"Ohhhh, nothing, Rae-Rae," he said before resuming his trip to the kitchen. Raven continued drinking her tea.

"Raven," she corrected flatly, though Robin caught the tiny tremor in her voice and the light blush in her cheeks. Once she finished her tea, Raven stood to head back to her room. Robin stopped her again.

"Raven. I still want those letters," he said. Raven only nodded. That had not been her friend, Dick Grayson. It had been Robin, apprentice to the Batman, leader of the Titans and one of the greatest martial artists and detectives in the world. Beast Boy took his place at the table as Raven left, addressing Robin with his mouth still full.

"So we're getting these guys, right?" he asked. Robin nodded.

"We are..." he said. Robin thought it might seem odd that he was protective of Raven. She was far more powerful but this... this was _his_ world. Finding evidence, following the trail, catching the bad guy. "If Raven still had the envelopes, we'll know where they came from. If we're lucky, we can forensically determine which mail box was used... then you'll take over, Beast Boy." The green boy paused, spoon still in his mouth.

"I will?" Robin nodded, solemnly.

"If we can't trace the letter all the way to the writer forensically, we'll need you to lock onto their scent and track them. Even if the original trail is cold, it's likely close to where they live or on their way to work or something like that. Hopefully, there'll be a trail for you to follow. Then we'll decide how we should handle them, once we get a good look at them." The two young men shared dark smiles before finishing their breakfasts. Later on, Beast Boy sat in his room, tapping away at his laptop. He was just surfing to kill time, really... and to distract himself. Even though Robin had a plan, he felt like they weren't doing enough. The real problem, he thought, was the damage these letters had done to Raven's self-image. Despite the fact that she was beautiful and smart and beautiful and funny and beautiful and brave and beautiful and oh man... those eyes! And her lips! And those legs... Beast Boy shook himself... he had _really_ gotten lost that time. Anyway, despite all of that, Raven still seemed to think that being a 'respected' notch on Aqualad's bedpost was the best she could hope for. Which seemed to defy logic considering that at least one particularly green individual (who shall remain nameless) was obviously in love with her. And she knew that! Yet somehow... she _didn't_ know. She thought he'd lost his mind or was an idiot for loving her at all. Then he knew what he should do... he needed a second opinion. Or maybe a whole lot of them! He logged into his own fansite. He found it much less creepy to run it himself than have someone else do it. He logged into the chatroom and was greeted with a flurry of welcome messages. He issued a blanket greeting and started typing.

'Okay, Beastfans, I need your help. Does anyone here know any Raven fans?' He got several affirmative responses, one catching his eye.

'Yeah, there's a Raven blog I sometimes post on. There are tons of people on there.' Beast Boy grinned.

'Okay. I need you guys to spread the word: Raven needs a little cheering up but she doesn't visit any fansites or blogs and stuff. So we need people to send letters. Just... anyone who wants to say something nice to Raven, ask 'em to send a letter. I can't do too much myself or she'll find out, that's why I need your help' To his immense relief and satisfaction, there was another flurry of replies, all agreeing to help their hero. Some of them were also fans of Raven and declared they already had pen and paper in hand. Beast Boy thanked them profusely and stayed online, chatting for hours as a show if his gratitude. He only logged out when he was called to action with the other Titans, simply typing 'Duty calls!' and seeing a third flurry of replies, all variations of 'go get 'em', 'Titans, go!' or 'be careful'. He grinned again, logged out and sprinted out the door.

Some days later, Raven meditated in her room after breakfast, when there was a knock at her door. She glared at the gray surface.

"What?" she asked. Cyborg's voice floated through.

"Um... you got some mail, Raven." he said. Raven flinched. She had handed her offensive letters to Robin and wasn't anxious to replace them, though not all of her fan mail was so... invasive.

"Just leave it outside the door, I'll pick it up when I'm done," Raven answered, closing her eyes again.

"Yeah... no can do, Rae. You'll have to come to the common room." Raven quirked a brow... then got up and walked with Cyborg to the common room. Her eyes widened and she gasped at what she saw. They all got fan mail (if you could call hers that) and it was separated into piles for each member. Usually, they all got at least a sack of letters, though she understood most of them had contact with fans online. This time, they all sat with a sack of letters... and there were three sacks left unattended in the centre of the room. Cyborg pushed Raven toward them. They all smiled at her rare expressiveness.

"These are... all for me?" Raven asked. Cyborg nodded, smiling but surprised as well.

"Yeah, seems that way. You gonna go through 'em with us?" he asked. Raven looked up at his smiling face. Going through the fan mail was a little social exercise for the Titans, one she never got to participate in as she rarely received any. She had told herself she didn't care... but now that the opportunity was there, she couldn't deny her excitement. She reined in her surprise and gave Cyborg a small smile, nodding gently. They all sat, reading, occasionally reading a letter out loud if they thought it warranted attention. After Robin had showed them all a crayon drawing of himself, Cyborg had read out a little rhyme someone had written about them. Then Beast Boy read out a joke someone had sent him. Starfire read out a letter she had received from an astronomer, interested in her experiences flying in space. Raven eventually contributed.

"This letter is from a girl called Jessica. She is eight years old and lives right here in Jump City. Apparently, I rescued her and her older brother from a collapsing building during a fight with CInderblock. After that, she badgered her mom for a week straight until she was allowed to dye her hair... dye it purple." Raven was very quiet after that but kept reading letters. They were from all sorts of people of all ages... and they were all..._nice_. Not many could compete with the innocent sweetness of Jessica's letter but they were appreciated all the same. There were many more thank you letters, some simply thanking her for her work as a hero without needing rescue. Some were from people with a little knowledge of meditation or mysticism, asking questions about her powers or chakra stone. To her surprise, there were a fair few from boys (and girls) telling her how pretty she was. She thought it a little odd for strangers to tell her such things but it was still flattering. Not one letter made her flesh crawl like those letters she had passed to Robin. After a time, when the others had finished their piles, Raven took a break, heading to her room. She still had more than half to go and still needed to catch up on her interrupted meditation. Beast Boy, having separated the letters he needed or wanted to answer or keep, carried the remainder to the recycling. As he walked down the corridor, Raven stepped in front of him.

"Oh! Um... hey, Rae!" he said. Raven had her arms crossed. That rarely boded well for him.

"One thing I neglected to mention about Jessica's letter... she said she wrote it when her brother told her that I needed 'cheering up'. Apparently he had heard it online." she said, evenly. Beast Boy was panicking now.

"W-whaaat?! Who would dare say that about you, Raven?" he said. Raven's brow quirked at him.

"Who indeed...?" she said. Then there was silence. Beast Boy broke after only a few seconds.

"Okay! It was me, I admit it! But all I did was ask people to send you letters if they wanted to say anything to you. There are fansites and stuff but you never go online and-" Raven interrupted.

"There are Raven fansites? she asked. Beast Boy nodded, glad his outburst had been halted.

"Uh... yeah." There was that silence again, though it didn't seem to weigh as heavily on Beast Boy. His mail bag dropped to the floor when Raven lurched toward him, wrapping her arms around him.

"Thank you... Garfield," Raven whispered. Beast Boy blushed... then his own, shaking arms lifted and carefully embraced the demoness.

"You're welcome, Raven," he squeaked, nervously. Acting on impulse, Raven planted a gentle kiss on Beast Boy's cheek before retreating back to her bedroom. While Beast Boy stood, frozen in the corridor, Raven brought out her mirror and entered Nevermore. Here she could express her emotions without destroying her belongings. She brought out Jessica's letter again... she hadn't been completely truthful with Beast Boy: Jessica had blabbed everything her brother had said, including his plea for people to 'say something nice' to her. She found herself in Happy's realm, unsurprisingly, and felt the emotion appear next to her. She handed Happy the letter and the pink emotion read and giggled, running off to show the letter around. Raven herself sat down on the abnormally comfortable grass... and finally allowed tears to escape her eyes. Beast Boy's gesture hadn't been especially grand, certainly not compared to his rescue of her from Adonis or Robin's rescue of her during Trigon's ascendance... yet somehow, his little act of kindness had snowballed into an enormous wave of good will. And he had tried (ineffectually) to remain anonymous... he wasn't trying to ingratiate himself or earn her approval - he had done it just for her. So Raven cried. She cried tears of happiness... for the first time. She fell back, laying on the grass while crying and laughing at the same time, her heart swelling with gratitude for the green changeling. Gratitude... and a sliver of some other feeling Raven struggled to name. All she knew was that it felt warm, heavy and brought a smile to her lips. It also seemed to fill her with oddly specific curiosity.

She wondered what Beast Boy was doing right now?

**Aaaaaaaaaand there you have it! So sweet you risk diabetes reading this far. Fluffy as the infinite scarf! Let me know how you like it, dudes. Peace out.**

**-Jack**


	6. Staying

**No Excuses 6 - Staying**

**Right then! I've been wondering about sticking in some exposition from Beast Boy's side and, now that people are actually asking about it, this seems like the opportune moment. We'll pick up where we left off, inside Raven's head. I am going to try and fit any accounts into the series timeline but I may add bits if they serve the story. Here goes!**

Raven, having exhausted her tears and laughter, lay on the comfortable ground and stared at the pink sky... she still wondered how this place survived inside her head. She felt a presence appear and lie next to her but didn't look over. She knew who it was.

"I suppose that kiss on the cheek was your idea?" Raven asked. Affection giggled a little.

"Mmmmmaybe. He certainly deserved it," the emotion replied. Raven's smile remained, but her eyes looked a little concerned.

"No doubt... but that doesn't mean it should have happened. He's already in a difficult situation and that sort of thing will confuse him even more. Giving him false hope will hurt him in the end." Raven explained. Her emotion looked nervous now, biting her lip.

"Hurt him? Oh no... that's the _last_ thing I want! Forgive me, Raven... it just felt right." Raven's smile finally slipped at the emotion's confession.

"I know... that's what worries me. Is it possible that Beast Boy's feelings are... affecting you? Affecting _us_ in some way?" The pair sat up to talk more easily. Affection's eyes took on a faraway look and a tiny smile appeared.

"Yes, we can be affected... but he can't make you feel something that isn't there. When he cried in your room, you almost shed a few yourself, correct?" Affection asked. Raven frowned but nodded.

"Yes. His misery was... infectious." Raven said, quietly, her usual monotone and neutral expression resurfacing.

"But your misery wasn't coming from him, Raven," Affection said. "You felt sadness because your friend was sad, he didn't transmit it to you. Yes, your empathy can blur the lines a little but your feelings are yours. If they're influenced by the feelings of others... well, think of it like this: if one of your friends told you how much they like you or bought you a gift or hugged you or something like that, you might feel closer to them. You might feel a burst of affection for them, yes?"

"I'm not especially fond of hugging people, despite our display earlier," Raven responded. Affection blew out a frustrated sigh.

"Hypothetically, Raven! For you, it's different. In some cases you can read the sentiment without needing the gesture, which might be one of the reasons you don't feel too comfortable with them: a lot of the time they seem surplus to requirements..." Raven looked a little annoyed.

"I think your getting a little off-track, Affection. Forget trying to analyse me and just say what you want to say." Raven said. Affection giggled nervously.

"I'm just saying: your feelings _can_ be influenced by the feelings of others but no more than they would by a gesture like a hug or a kind word. Somewhere, deep inside, a part of you _wanted_ to kiss Beast Boy. _This_ part of you!" Affection said, indicating herself. Raven sighed.

"... I know. I wanted to show Beast Boy that what he did meant something to me. But when you push me out of balance, things can go too far. Think about it: the kiss on the cheek wasn't much... but when it comes from me? The girl who can count how many hugs she's ever given using her fingers? On _one hand_? Then it takes on a different meaning, especially to G... Beast Boy who, as it turns out, is in _love_ with me!" Raven's voice had grown louder and louder, causing Affection to shrink into her violet cloak. Raven saw this and brought her frustration under control. "I'm sorry, Affection... but you must understand how delicate the situation is. Please... for Beast Boy's sake... don't influence me like that again." Raven was rarely so delicate with her emotions and this drove the point home with Affection.

"...Alright," the emotion said, eventually. Raven showed a tiny smile and summoned Happy, who appeared in a flash of pink, looking confused. The jubilant emotion reluctantly surrendered Raven's letter and she and Affection watched as Raven vanished, returning to the real world. Happy glanced at Affection.

"Soooooo... what did you and Rae-Rae talk about, Affie?" she asked. Affection smiled back... a smile that caused even Happy's jaw to go slack, it was so pure. Before there were any more questions, Affection disappeared back into her own realm and Happy quickly forgot the conversation in favour of pretending she was an airplane. In the real world, Raven appeared in her room, thirsty for tea and looking forward to reading more of her fanmail. As she walked the corridor, she heard voices floating down from the common room, those of Cyborg and Beast Boy. Though she would never fully understand why, Raven decided she wanted to hear how they spoke without her presence: a difficult thing to do with Cyborg's sensors and Beast Boy's senses. Still. Raven wrapped herself in a sliver of her soul-self, rendering her one with the shadows. The shadow-Raven slipped into the common room and rested in a dark corner, momentarily disappointed as the two boys were merely playing video games... Then Cyborg spoke.

"So..." he began. "You and Raven, huh?" Beast Boy still watched the screen but Raven caught the tiny flinch in his movements.

"No, not 'me and Raven'... just me. Not like I expected anything different but... a guy can dream if he doesn't know, right?" Cyborg nodded, still tapping his controller.

"When did it even start? Last I knew, you were still hung up on Terra," he said. Raven felt twin flashes of pity and sorrow for the misguided geomancer - from Beast Boy and herself. Beast Boy sighed and paused the game, though he remained quiet for several moments.

"Okay, man... I guess I need to get this off my chest." Cyborg, initially irritated at the lull in entertainment, put the controller down and turned to face his suddenly serious friend.

"Let's have it, BB," he said. There was no visible reaction... then Beast Boy finally started to speak.

"When we first met... and fought and stuff... I'll be honest, I kinda thought Raven was scary." Raven's heart fell a little. "Until I saw underneath her cloak. Then... I mighta sorta thought she was... hot." Beast Boy finished, quietly. Cyborg snickered a little at his friend's embarrassment, juxtaposed in his mind with the hypnotised version that had kissed Raven without fear. Raven herself would have blushed, had she not become one with the shadows.

"You've been crushing on her since _then_?!" Cyborg bellowed. Beast Boy shook his head.

"No! No, dude! I just thought she was real pretty... so I did what any dumb kid does when he thinks a girl is pretty: bugged her non-stop!" At this, both boys chuckled and even Raven wore an invisible smile. "Then I thought she didn't like me, so I pretended I didn't care and got even more annoying... then there was the mirror. And she _did_ like me. Even then, I wasn't crushing, she was just my friend who was also really pretty... who I sometimes stared at during training." Raven pseudo-blushed again. Beast Boy was now lost in thought and Cyborg had lost patience.

"B! Come on, man! It was just getting good!" he laughed. Beast Boy grinned.

"That was when Terra came and, yeah... then I was totally crushing. She was pretty, fun and laughed at my jokes... but she ran before anything could happen. I was kinda pining or something, so I didn't really look at girls for a while, y'know? There were plenty of other distractions: we all got hunted by Raven's fear, we fought Killer Moth and I found Silkie. Then she was back and I was... gone, dude. Just gone. Raven knew something was wrong... I could tell. But I ignored her because it got in the way of what I wanted... stupid. You know what happened next, with the date and the fair and Slade... that sucked. Looking back, there must have been something real - she went out with me that night so we would have time. I'm sure of it. That's why she made me promise to be her friend... and I broke it. It seemed fair at the time but sometimes... I wonder if it might have made a difference." Beast Boy was silent again, but Cyborg wisely left him alone, rising to get a soda.

"You want a soda, B?" he asked. The green teen nodded gratefully, catching the canned beverage as it sailed through the air toward him. His frown returned as he opened it and took a swig, glancing at Cyborg as he returned to his seat.

"After that, I was pretty broken up. I was... umm...I was sleeping in her room. With that stupid box I made for her... I just curled up as a dog and couldn't bring myself to leave..." his voice grew quieter as he revealed his secret. Cyborg was quiet and careful.

"B... I didn't know..." he muttered. Beast Boy shook his head.

"Of course not. How could you?" he said before falling quiet again for a few long moments. "Raven found me... by accident, I think. I think she wanted to process things there too, though she never told me. Anyway... she just sat with me. She didn't say a word, she just waited until I was myself again, sitting next to her. I spilled everything, the date, the fair, the promise... everything. I asked her if could have been a better friend and then she just got angry at me. She told me that I _was_ a good friend... but that Terra wasn't or she wouldn't have made me promise, knowing what would happen. That was... hard to hear but it helped. Let me admit that Terra wasn't the perfect person I saw her as... but I also knew I would save her if I could. Raven stayed with me, meditating over the bed until I stood and walked out. She left with me and made sure I went back to my own room... You know what happened after that. We gave her a chance and she threw it in our faces. She realised, at the end, that she was wrong. Wrong to throw in with Slade. And she saved us from him... and she was gone. Raven found me again, days later when I visited her statue... no words again, she just stayed with me. I don't think she'll ever know how grateful I am for that..." Raven pseudo-blushed again. She knew now.

"So that was when you got stuck on Raven?" Cyborg asked. Beast Boy shook his head, chuckling at Cyborg's dramatic sigh.

"It took a few more pushes... the first was the thing with Malchior. After she helped me with Terra, I thought I sorta... owed her, y'know? So I worried, maybe more than I would have before. I tried a little too hard to get her to play with us though, said some stuff I shouldn't. After everything... she was in pieces. We all saw it, even if she wouldn't let us get close. I spoke to her later, on my own... " Beast Boy eyed his friend carefully, not sure if that conversation was his secret to tell. "Anyway, we talked... and I just opened up. No jokes, no playing, I just said what I felt. And it worked... and then _someone_ ruined the moment!" he said, pretending (mostly) to be bitter. Cyborg was unrepentant.

"Whatever, man. You can't tell me - especially now! - that you didn't enjoy playing stankball with Rae and me..." he said, smirking at the changeling, who blushed lightly before shrugging his shoulders.

"Fine. Anyway... next there was the Beast... you know how _that_ played out, too. What you might not know is that, once again, Raven found me when I needed her the most. I was sat out on the rocks, throwing stones and freaking out. She wouldn't even let me apologise, saying it wasn't my fault. She said the Beast saved her... and that knowing how to use it made me a man, not an animal. Of course, I nearly ruined the moment," Beast Boy laughed. "But she stopped me and just... stayed with me. Again. That... is when it started. We were just staring at the sea, occasionally skipping some stones... and I looked at her. I was gonna say something, I can't remember what... and the wind caught her hair. She brushed it back with her hand... the Moon was shining that night and... the light just... I couldn't look away. I just stared. I still don't know how she didn't catch me. We went in soon after that... I couldn't sleep. That picture of her was stuck in my head... she's so _beautiful_, Cy... it sometimes hurts to look at her..." Not noticing the quiet gasp from the dark corner, he fell quiet again. Long enough for Cyborg to prod him into activity.

"So... that was it, huh?" he asked. Beast Boy shook his head again, less jovially this time.

"Not quite... After Trigon came. I mean... we knew what could happen, Rae had told us all about him. We all said we'd save her - _protect_ her - and we meant it. But we all thought about it... that Raven could..." he swallowed, thickly. "...die. And then she did... we watched her just... vanish and become that damn portal. I'm honestly not sure how I kept it together for that fight. Probably the power Raven left us... made it feel like she was still there, staying with me once more time. I let the Beast out, too. I just... I just wanted to make that bastard hurt. Even if we couldn't win, I wanted him to suffer, even a little... for her. And I wanted it to be my fault. Then Robin brought her back and... somehow everything wasn't hopeless anymore. We could still save her... then she ended up saving us. After that, when everything was okay, I sorta freaked. Then she told me I wasn't funny and I knew it was her and... well, you saw." Beast Boy suddenly became shy, like he had just realised he had blurted out his innermost thoughts. Cyborg chuckled... he _had _seen. Beast Boy had glomped Raven and, despite her complaint, she had made no move to dislodge him. Thinking back, he realised now that Beast Boy had remained as close to the demoness as possible without seeming suspicious. Not that the others would have even noticed at the time, they were overjoyed to have her back as well.

"So that was it... not many people need that much drama to realise they like a girl, BB," he joked, extracting a laugh from his green friend.

"Yeah, I guess. It didn't end there though... you know I told you about Terra? At the school? With amnesia?" Cyborg nodded. "Well, I moped around for a bit afterward... and Raven found me. _Again_! I told her what Terra had said: 'things change'... and Raven agreed with her. She even told me off a little, said that I should leave her to her new life if it made her happy... that I shouldn't drag her back into her old life, one that she couldn't even bear to remember. And she was right. I wasn't feeling that way about Terra anyway I just... wanted to save her, I guess. Raven let me see that she didn't need it... and then, even though by now I _knew_ I felt something... it hit me. I loved her. This girl that seemed to always be there when I needed her... I loved her more right then, just for realising it. Then... I think my heart broke in the same moment because I knew, with the same conviction, that she didn't love me back. Not in the same way at least. So I kept it a secret. Somehow, that translated into me unconsciously hiding it from Raven, I guess. I mean, she obviously didn't know, right?" Cyborg nodded.

"Yeah... that kinda sucks, B." Cyborg summarised, dismayed by his friend's unrequited love and the anguish it brought him. Beast Boy chuckled dryly.

"Yeah... but I can't think of anyone who deserves a little adulation more than Raven... okay, enough o' this misery trip: back to the game!" Cyborg recognised the obvious change of subject but allowed it, jumping back into the game with glee. Shadow-Raven slid from her dark corner and back to the corridor, shedding the darkness and returning to her normal self. Her face betrayed no emotion whatsoever but her eyes showed the emotional turmoil within. She turned to face the door...

"Beast Boy," she whispered to the darkness. "I've broken his heart - twice - without even knowing it... and he loves me still. You're wrong, Beast Boy... I _don't_ deserve you... but I'm glad you believe that I do." Raven elected to finish reading her mail the next day and returned to her room to meditate and soothe her fluttering emotions. Some of her own memories surfaced against her will... the way Beast Boy's eyes had sparkled when, after fighting in her mind, she joined them for breakfast. The sense of relief and wonderment when the green Beast had torn into Adonis to rescue her, just before she slipped into unconsciousness. Her feigned indifference when she got caught up in Beast Boy and Cyborg's celebratory 'breakfast explosion', though the illusion had been broken when they dragged her from the room: she had laughed then as she had rarely laughed before... the simple joy had overwhelmed her. She remembered his lucky penny. And his insistence that she was not alone.

And she remembered the warmth of his lips on hers.

Raven blushed but didn't cease her meditations. Nor did she suppress her tiny but genuine smile.

**There it is. I had real trouble with this one and I'm not sure I did it justice. Let me know what you think, eh? As for the laughing during the breakfast explosion... totally true! When they drag her away, if you pause or slow it down, Raven is laughing her head off! Crazy. Hopefully, the next chapter will not prove quite so difficult. Laters!**

**-Jack**


	7. Changes

**No Excuses 7 - Changes**

**Okay then, we got a look in Beast Boy's head and Raven's imaginings became a lot less symbolic. Let's see what happens next!**

Beast Boy awoke with a start. Someone was shaking his shoulder. With blinking eyes, he stared up at his attacker: red and green uniform, spiky hair and domino mask.

"Robin?" he asked, groggily. He glanced at his bedside clock. It read 5:00 am. He groaned into his pillow. "Dude! Why do you hate me? Why are you even in he-"

"I've found out where the letters came from," Robin interrupted, quietly. Beast Boy stopped complaining in a heartbeat. Several of his more savage animal instincts reared their heads inside him, rendering him wide awake.

"You found him?" Beast Boy asked. After Robin had acquired Raven's offensive fan mail, Beast Boy had scented all of them: they all smelled the same. There was only one target. Robin nodded to answer his question and Beast Boy swung out of bed, grabbing a uniform while Robin waited in the corridor. As they made their way to the garage, they were silent so as not to wake the others. Especially Raven. Thinking of her, Beast Boy suffered a flash of doubt: she would be very upset with them when she found out about this and he was certain she would. She was extremely perceptive. He fought it off, however. After all, it wasn't like he could hurt his chances with her - he didn't _have_ a chance. Besides, it was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Once they were in the elevator, away from the bedrooms, Robin began to speak.

"We're in luck. This guy is right here in Jump City." To Robin's surprise, the information only seemed to upset the changeling even more. "Something wrong, Beast Boy? Besides the obvious, that is?" he asked.

"If he's here, he knows what Raven does every day to safeguard this city. He's probably seen it up close once or twice or on the news. And he still does that. Man, I'm totally ready to get this guy," Beast Boy growled, fists clenched. Robin said nothing. He felt much the same way himself. Soon they were on the back of Robin's R-Cycle, speeding toward the city. Beast Boy noted they were heading for the suburban outskirts as his thoughts, inevitably, drifted toward the sorceress herself.

Raven entered the common room, unsurprised to see no one there. She made her way to the kitchen and prepared her tea. As she waited for the water to boil, she eyed the garish packaging that surrounded Beast Boy's cereal. With a thought, a few pieces flew from the box and into her waiting hand. She casually munched on them while leaning against the countertop. A few minutes later she sat in her spot on the couch, watching the sky and sipping her tea. Once the tea was gone, she assumed her typical lotus position and floated into the air, reciting her mantra as she meditated. Robin had still not arrived but she paid it little mind. Her mind was drawn back to the real world when the doors opened and Cyborg walked in, studying a scrap of paper in his hand. Raven, having checked the clock and seeing she had meditated for a good hour, finally deemed it unusual for Robin not to have shown himself.

"No Robin? That's unusual," Raven said. Cyborg simply waved the scrap in his hand as he started his breakfast.

"Apparently he took Beast Boy and went on some tracking mission. No risk but BB's powers might be useful, it says. You want waffles, Raven?" Cyborg was already preparing his ingredients.

"Yes, please," Raven replied. She returned her gaze to the window, pondering what or whom Robin had Beast Boy searching for. Her eyes widened a little when an idea popped into her head: the letters. She couldn't ask Cyborg, he didn't even know of the letters. But hadn't she persuaded Beast Boy to leave it alone? She told herself she had no proof, that they could be doing any number of things... but she was still very quiet while she ate her waffles. As she ate, she tried to locate Beast Boy with her empathic senses, searching for the beacon that represented his aura. Her eyes snapped open when she couldn't find it. She sighed in frustration: the covert nature of his actions meant Beast Boy must be subconsciously suppressing his emotions again. She couldn't find him. She recalled the anger she had felt from him and from Robin regarding the letters and, despite the things that the sender had written, found a shred of sympathy. Her greatest concern was Beast Boy. Robin wasn't just a hero but a vigilante, used to the grey areas between justice and retribution. Beast Boy didn't have Batman guiding him and she hoped he wouldn't stray too far from his ideals in her name. She finished her waffles but barely tasted them, staring out the window. Unable to quell her suspicions, she pulled out her communicator and dialled Beast Boy...

**Slight rewind for more of BB's perspective.**

There he was. Sitting in his apartment. Beast Boy had tracked his scent all the way from the post office. It had got pretty confusing, this guy clearly walked around this area a lot, but he had found him at last. As confirmation, he had entered the apartment as an insect, briefly shifting to a small dog to check the scent. It was him. He exited the same way he had entered and returned to Robin, waiting on the roof of the building across the road. Robin's eyes held a silent question. Beast Boy nodded.

"It's him. No doubt." At Beast Boy's answer, Robin's eyes narrowed slightly. They both moved, ready to stealthily make their way across the street. Beast Boy had no idea what they might do... likely just scare the guy, let him know he wasn't anonymous any more. His hand shot out and grabbed Robin's arm, who looked back at him curiously.

"Beast Boy?" The green teen's eyes were squeezed shut and he shook his head.

"I can't, Robin. I just can't. I'm going home," Beast Boy finally said.

"What? We spent all this time finding the guy and now you change your mind? I thought you, of all people, would want to put a little fear into this guy," Robin returned.

"I know... I _do_! But I shouldn't. Remember what Raven told me? She said 'that's not what heroes do.' And she was right. I couldn't bear to see her... disappointed in me like that. She'll feel even worse if you do something, Robin," Beast Boy said.

"What? Why me?" Robin asked. Beast Boy grimaced a little, like the words he was about to say tasted bitter.

"Because you're not just a hero. You're _her_ hero... and she needs that." Robin looked back at the apartment, all the purpose and anger drained from him. He quirked a smile at Beast Boy.

"You really like her, huh?" he asked.

"I do... but that isn't why I said all that," Beast Boy replied.

"Then why?" Robin asked. Beast Boy was quiet, then he smiled a wistful smile and looked up at the sky.

"Because she's _my_ hero," Beast Boy sighed. "I think I'll fly home. I'll see you back at the tower." Robin nodded, discreetly noting the apartment number and address before disappearing from the roof. Beast Boy looked back up at the sky, feeling oddly pleased with himself. Then his communicator rang. He flipped it open.

"Beast Boy?" said Raven's voice, her face appearing on the screen.

"Raven?! Uh... hey," Beast Boy said, weakly. Raven frowned at him.

"You and Robin, you didn't go looking for that guy, did you?" Beast Boy's heart sank. Despite his last minute change of heart, he was still about to disappoint Raven.

"We did, Rae... but we changed our minds. We left the guy alone." He kept his gaze away from the communicator, avoiding her eyes. Even so, he caught her sigh of relief.

"That's good. That's good, Beast Boy," Raven answered. Cautiously, Beast Boy looked back at her: there was no disappointment, just that tiny smile that made his stomach warm. "Are you coming back home now?" Raven asked.

"Yeah, I guess. I might fly around a little, it's a nice day," Beast Boy said. Raven nodded.

"Okay... I'll see you soon." With that, she was gone. The way she had spoken those last words... Beast Boy fought to squash the spark of hope that appeared in the back of his mind but it stubbornly refused to vanish. Sighing, he took to the air as a hawk and took a scenic route home. Raven, closing her communicator, blew out another relieved sigh. Her face creased into a frown again, however, as she recalled the gymnastics her heart and stomach had been doing while she worried over the changeling. She stood and walked to her room, reluctantly picking up her meditation mirror and letting herself be pulled inside. When she arrived, she once again found herself with a group of emotions: Happy, Timid, Affection, Knowledge and Brave. When they saw Raven, Affection stepped forward.

"I think you're probably looking for me, yes?" the emotion asked. Raven folded her arms grumpily but nodded.

"Yes... Beast Boy. I... We... You..." Raven grumbled incoherently. Why was this so hard to say? Affection spoke for her.

"I like him. _We_ like him. Because _you_ like him. And before you backtrack, I mean to say you are romantically attracted to him." Raven stared at her emotion tiredly... yet she didn't seem surprised.

"How did this happen? I never felt anything like this for him before!" Raven said, tensely.

"Things change..." Knowledge supplied, helpfully. Affection laughed and shook her head.

"How does it ever happen? It might not have been entirely by choice but he bared his soul to you and you liked what you saw. And, while we're all being so honest, you've always found him slightly adorable... when he wasn't being obnoxious anyway. His immaturity meant you never gave him any serious consideration beyond that. Looks like you've been considering a lot in the last few days." Raven sat on the ground, head in hands.

"Me and Beast Boy? I can't wrap my head around this!" Raven said, Timid whimpering in nervous agreement. Affection knelt by Raven's side, hand on her shoulder.

"You've hit the nail on the head, Raven: You _and Beast Boy_. You should tell him." Raven gave her emotion a glare, letting her know exactly what she though of that. "But why not, Raven? You know he won't reject you. He loves you!" The other emotions waited for Raven's reply. She was quiet for a long moment.

"If I do, everything..." Raven started, falling quiet again.

"Everything will change," Timid finished for her. Knowledge knelt with Affection.

"Things change," she repeated. "In fact, things have already changed. You may wish for everything to go back to the way it was before but wishing won't make it so." Raven listened in silence. Abruptly, she stood and vanished, exiting her mindscape. The emotions looked at each other.

"You think she'll go through with it?" asked Happy. Knowledge shrugged.

"I do not know, which means she doesn't know either." Affection remained quiet. From her viewpoint, she had seen that Raven, despite her worry, had worn a tiny but genuine smile.

Raven emerged from her room, her questions answered but no less confused. Not knowing what else to do, she returned to the common room, intent on another cup of tea. When she arrived, she saw that Robin had returned home, his expression becoming mildly contrite when he saw her, mainly because her frown left him in no doubt: she knew where they had gone. He walked to her side so they might speak without Cyborg overhearing.

"Judging by that look, I don't have to think of a cover story for this morning," he said.

"You judge correctly. I spoke to Beast Boy. He told me everything," Raven responded. Robin's eyes widened. Beast Boy had been adamant she wouldn't discover what they had done.

"I'm surprised he came clean so easily. Especially after what he said..." Raven quirked a brow at Robin's words.

"What did he say?" she asked. Believing she already knew the bulk of it, Robin related their actions and conversation, having the decency to blush when Beast Boy told him he was Raven's hero. Raven, to her credit, maintained her usual demeanour, though her heart swelled at his consideration. Just as Robin finished, the doors opened again and Beast Boy walked in, looking between Robin and Raven. Robin made himself scarce, collecting Cyborg as he went. Left alone, Beast Boy quailed under Raven's lingering gaze.

"Um... hi, Raven," Beast Boy tried. Raven remained silent. A few long and uncomfortable moments passed until she finally spoke.

"Robin told me about this morning. His account was a little more... detailed." Beast Boy winced a little, hoping that didn't include his little speech. "You were only half-right, though, when you called Robin my hero..."

"He told you about that?" Beast Boy whined. Raven nodded, expression still neutral.

"He did. But, as I was saying, you were only half-right." With that, Raven drew the astonished changeling into a gentle embrace.

"H-Half-right?" Beast Boy stuttered.

"Yes. Because, I am lucky enough to say I have more than one hero," Raven finished, pulling back to look into his eyes. Her eyes and expression had softened, a little playfulness showing itself. Beast Boy blushed as her compliment left him with stinging eyes. There were no tears but only because he actively resisted. He grinned and chuckled nervously. Then, to his further surprise, Raven moved away from him and stared out the window. "You're right, Beast Boy: it _is_ a nice day. If you're up to it, would you like to come flying with me?" Beast Boy stared dumbly for a moment before nodding so violently he almost broke his neck. The pair made their way to the roof, Raven feeling almost as nervous as her green companion. Once they reached the roof, they wasted no time and took to the air, Beast Boy switching forms as it pleased him, weaving around Raven's flight path. He noticed that, while she smiled, she didn't seem to be especially enjoying herself. He shifted back to a human in front of her and, reacting quickly, Raven conjured a disc for him to stand on.

"Everything okay, Raven? You don't look like you're enjoying yourself..." Raven raised a hand to stop him.

"I am, as much as I can. Flight requires focus so, while I can take pleasure, I have to remain calm or I drop out of the sky." Beast Boy pondered this for a second. Then, a burst of nerves and indecision rocked Raven's empathic senses as he fidgeted.

"What if... What if I carried you?" he said, blushing again. He was already arguing with himself over saying something so stupid, Raven could see the turmoil in his aura.

"Okay," she responded simply. Beast Boy goggled at her for a few seconds, not quite believing his luck, before shifting into a pterosaur. Raven lowered herself onto his back, wrapping her arms around his neck, letting him take off before allowing the disc to fade away. While Raven still had to maintain enough control to keep her powers in check, she permitted herself to indulge in a little fun, smiling and even occasionally laughing as Beast Boy swooped and dove through the air. He would have happily kept flying for the rest of time but, inevitably, he tired out and flew them back to the tower. Raven hopped to the roof and the green dinosaur was replaced by a fatigued Beast Boy, exhausted but grinning.

"That was fun, Rae. We should do this again," Beast Boy said. There was no reply. He turned to look at Raven: she was giving him an unusual look. It felt eerily similar to the look she gave him in her room before she apologetically rejected his feelings. He suddenly regretted his words, thinking they sounded too much like asking her out. His nervousness reappeared, growing in the silence until Raven finally spoke.

"Beast Boy. Garfield," she started. Beast Boy frantically wondered if the use of his real name was a good or bad sign. "I know we've talked before about things changing... because that's what things do sometimes. They change. And if and when they do change, we can't change that." Beast Boy was now thoroughly confused. Even Raven seemed a little bemused by her own words. "And sometimes, one of those things that changes can be thoughts. Or opinions. Or feelings. Or all three. And sometimes people don't realise those things are changing. But they can change. So we shouldn't assume they won't." Beast Boy was totally lost now.

"Is this your way of telling me I'll get over you one day? Cos I'll be honest, Rae, you're losing me here." Raven rubbed her temples. Despite her calm outward appearance, whenever she spoke it felt like Timid was choking nonsense out of her.

"No, not that..." Raven considered trying again but instead turned and headed toward the door, leaving a troubled Beast Boy behind her... until a green cloaked emotion took the reins and gave Raven a much-needed jolt. Raven turned back towards the changeling, hands on hips and an amused smirk on her lips. She marched toward him and, unconsciously mirroring the event that started everything, pulled Beast Boy into a kiss. His eyes were wide and unfocused, his hands in the air. When Raven pulled away, sporting a satisfied smile and a light blush, she caught his eye and spoke. "Was that clear enough for you, Garfield?" she asked, a hint of humour in her voice.

"Um... uhhh?" Beast Boy answered, though his eyes finally focused on hers. She shook her head and sighed, her blush intensifying a little.

"As I thought. I suppose I'll just have to repeat myself." WIth that, she leaned in again, more slowly this time, and planted a lingering kiss on Beast Boy's lips. Finally, reality sank in and he returned her kiss, his arms cautiously finding her waist. When they eventually broke the kiss, Raven was pleased to see Beast Boy's beaming smile, which was quickly accompanied by quiet but overjoyed laughter. "It looks like I finally made myself understood," Raven said, affectionate sarcasm lacing her words. Beast Boy's grin morphed into a mischievous smirk.

"Oh, I dunno Rae, you know me: sometimes it takes three or four attempts for me to understand you. Or five. Or six. Or fifty!" Raven laughed with him then.

"No excuses, Garfield. If you want to kiss your girlfriend, just ask and, if she's in the mood, you will probably receive," Raven said. Beast Boy would normally have laughed at her rather conditional response but his smile had vanished into yet another stammer.

"G-g-g-g-g-_girlfriend_?!" he spluttered.

"Of course... unless you think I'm the type of girl who just goes about kissing random superheroes." Raven accused. Beast Boy forced a laugh through his nervous smile and raised his hands in surrender.

"Okay, I give! I surrender..." Beast Boy said.

"And?" Raven encouraged.

"And... I would really, really like to kiss you." Beast Boy whispered. Raven's smirk transformed into a smile.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Raven challenged. Beast Boy blew out a nervous sigh: as far as he remembered, he and Raven had now kissed three times, all initiated by Raven. Rather than her waist, his right hand landed on her shoulder, his left moving up to brush a lock of violet hair behind her ear before moving to the back of her neck. He tipped his head to the right and leaned in, seeing Raven do the same. Their lips met and Raven's empathic sense was almost blinded by the explosion of joy and desire in his aura. Their bliss was interrupted however, when the door opened. Starfire, feeling in the mood for flying as well, had caught them in the act.

"Oh my!" she squeaked, causing the pair to break apart and stare at her. "My friends have found the romance with each other. How wonderful! I must tell the others." Before Raven and Beast Boy could even articulate a response, Starfire was gone again to spread the word. Beast Boy chuckled sheepishly.

"If you like, Rae, we could tell them I got hypno-fried again..." Raven shook her head.

"What did I say, Garfield?" she asked, pointedly. He grinned.

"No excuses." With that he bravely clutched her hand and they headed for the door to face their friends.

THE END

**So there it is! When I started writing this chapter, I had no idea it would be the end but, when the idea popped up, it seemed perfect! It did make it slightly longer than my average chapter, however. Meh. I actually really like how it worked out, we've had this really slow build up and then... SNAP! It hits a critical point where Raven consciously realises what's going on and everything just snowballs. Let me know how you like it, peeps!**

**-Jack**


	8. Answer to guest reviewer's question

In answer to a guest review, Beast Boy _could_ hear them from the door. As demonstrated earlier, he was able to listen to Cyborg and Robin's whispered conversation from across the room, so Robin and Raven's conversation - at normal volume - would be audible to him from the doors. At least in my story :)


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